


We will meet again

by violadiaries



Series: Redemption [3]
Category: Final Fantasy IV
Genre: Fluff, I am still bad at tagging, M/M, Promises, after canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 03:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18421683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violadiaries/pseuds/violadiaries
Summary: After the Battle against Zeromus is over, Kain and Golbez talk.





	We will meet again

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language so I apologize for any language related mistakes, but I encourage you to point them out to me, so I myself can learn and improve, as well as correct them. I also want to encourage you to maybe leave me a review if you feel up to it, so again I can improve myself as a writer.

“What will you do now?”

 

His voice rang through the empty space before me. Cecil had kind of forced us to at least stay for another break before heading back out to the lunar whale and back to earth. The others were sitting together with the old man, while I had separated myself from them.

 

“Honestly…I don’t know. I kind of hoped to die up here…to not have to think of an aftermath…but here I stand, completely alive.”, I answered.

 

I heard him sigh and couldn’t held back a tiny smile creeping up on my lips. So he had figured it out himself what my initial plan had been, and he wasn’t approving one bit.

“Kain…you’re not to blame for any of this. I…Zeromus used you.”, he tried reassuring me.

This is what made me laugh, but not cheerfully or full of happiness, but bitter and sad.

“And this is where you are wrong. I knew exactly what I did. I was aware of every action I performed, but I was consumed by rage and pride and hatred, so I stopped to really think and just listened.”, I retorted.

 

From the corner of my eye I could see him stepping up to me, coming to a halt a bit in front of me, so I could just see he back. He had traded his heavy armor for a simple black garb. It was unusual seeing him like that, but it wasn’t the first time I had seen him without his armor…without his helmet. Though I could only deduce that his eyes would look entirely different from when I had last seen them.

“But you are not trying to kill Cecil or any of the others now, right? If you were still this person, like you claim you are it wouldn’t matter if there was a greater scheme.”, he noted.

 

Again I had to laugh that bitter, hurting laugh and stepped up to him, so that I was standing next to him. While he had a point I wouldn’t yield to his arguing just so easily.

“Well and why is it than that you are choosing to stay away from earth, if that is your way of thinking?”, I asked calmly.

He now looked at me directly, eye to eye, for the first time. I was right, his eyes looked different, they were a clearer shade of violet now, kinder but also deeper. No malice or hatred was dwelling inside of them, but confusion.

 

“Kain I wronged so many people, it is only natural that I wouldn’t- “ – “But that wasn’t you right? If you were still this person then you would still harbor this hatred for Cecil, you would still try to undermine earth and everyone standing on it, right?”, I reused his argument.

He just wordlessly blinked at me, not knowing what to say to that. He knew I was right just because he had used the same line of argumentation on me. In a way we were the same, even if our objectives were different

 

“You know I’m right, just as I know you’re right. But there is still this deep hatred for ourselves inside of us which forces us to seek some kind of redemption. I know Cecil has forgiven me, I know the gates of Baron will be open for me, awaiting my return, but I still won’t go back there, because I can’t. I know I couldn’t stand to go back there and continue my life like nothing ever happened because that is not true. The complete opposite is true. A lot has happened and I have been a main part in the grieve of too many people to be able to just keep on like before. Just like you know exactly, while Cecil might forgive you, and Cecil is not one for hating people, really I mean just look at me, you know you can’t just go back because to much has happened. That is why you are choosing to stay away from earth altogether, and why I am choosing to not return to Baron.”, I explained in one breath.

 

Somewhere during my speech he had averted his eyes to the ground, because he knew exactly that everything I had just said was true and he didn’t dare try arguing against that.

“We are just as twisted like that, huh…”, he whispered.

“Yes we are…but that was what made us the perfect marionettes, wasn’t it?”, I asked.

 

He looked at me again, and for the first time I noticed how close we were actually standing to each other. It was kind of awkward thinking of it now. I wanted to take a step to the side, just to get some distance between us, but he stopped me by grabbing my arm.

“Don’t…please…”, he said almost inaudible.

Again he averted his eyes to the ground, his hand staying on my arm, like I could run away any second. How long has it actually been, since he had felt understood, because I just laid bare his whole way of thinking…which is identically to mine.

 

In a way I just showed him how much I understand him…and in retrospect how much he probably understands me. How long has it been since I have felt understood…did I ever feel like someone understood me. My mother did, but I was far to young to grasp the difficulties of this wide world when she had passed away. I had hated my father with a passion, for his strictness, for his harsh ways of training but in the end I started hating myself for letting him pass on while I still hadn’t surpassed him.

 

Thinking about it I had never really felt understood, until I met him. And even if it was Zeromus controlling my thoughts, I now see that in a way he still understands me and that this was one of the greater things that made me chose to stay with him.

He looked up me, was staring in my eyes. I couldn’t avert my eyes from him, didn’t dare to look somewhere else. Could he still read my thoughts or had that been something Zeromus had done.

 

I could try it out…Maybe…but was that really what I wanted. Until recently I had believed to love Rosa with all my heart even that much, that I would kill for her, but now I felt this weird longing for him. I wouldn’t mind if he were to kiss me…to undermine me Zeromus had him doing far more things to me than just that. He had him break me…use me…and for better or worse I got used to it…even enjoyed it sometimes.

 

So, if he could read my thoughts he would know what I was thinking now. That I was thinking about what we had done in the Tower of Zot, in the castle of Baron even in the Tower of Babil but always just when we had been alone.

 

He leaned a bit forward I noticed and I closed my eyes awaiting what he would do next…how he would continue. I felt his breath on my lips and stood still, awaiting. Then he placed his lips gently on mine, just for a split second before he moved away again…

“I’m sorry…”, he whispered before bringing distance between us altogether.

As he turned to leave, probably join Cecil and the others again, I just looked at him. Only as he started walking I opened my mouth again…

 

“We will see each other again…when both of us changed…redeemed ourselves.”, I simply stated and turned away again.

I heard him halt for a moment and then walking again…

I don’t know what had prompted me to speak these words, didn’t knew why I was now anticipating the moment when it would happen…but I just knew…

 

 

And many years later it came true. When he stepped into the throne room, me holding onto Cecil so that he wouldn’t fall to the ground I knew right away that it was him…

…

And we both had changed…


End file.
